 In 2018 on September 13th Brandon went into the hospital with angina. We started at Convenient Care as he was throwing up and having terrible chest pains and difficulty breathing. They hooked him up and realized it wasn't due to indigestion, he was having a cardiac event. In came the special ambulance to take him to Concord Hospital. I called work and told them why I wouldn't be there and followed the ambulance to the hospital. It was less than 20 minutes later he was in the cath lab having two stents put in. He had started to feel better, but he had pericarditis which caused him to be feverish and always cold. But early Sunday morning (the 4th day) he woke up in extreme pain. They got him back in the cath lab as his stents had failed. They added two more stents,but also cleaned out his arteries around the heart and put him on a groin pump and onto intensive care. He was there on the 6th day and had his groin pump removed and we were hoping he would be going back to cardiac rehab the next day. That evening he was going to be able to lie on his side to sleep and was happy despite the fact that the Red socks lost again to the NY Yankees. He said to his nurse and I quote" they may have lost tonight, but they are too good a team to lose the world series". Brandon was right, unfortunately he died a little after 1 am September 20th, when his left ventricle split and he no longer had a heart. I got to the room just as they were declaring him dead, but I suspect he was dead when the alarms went off.
The staff left me with him, while I said goodbye. The worst thing about shock is you get really cold, luckily the head nurse saw this and gave me a heated blanket and a cup of tea. I sat out in the ICU waiting area and realized it was 2:30 am and I really shouldn't call anyone, plus my flip phone was dead. So I sat and made a list of who to call and what I needed to do. Luckily the head nurse came in and told me there would be no need for an autopsy as they knew what had happened. This was good as I didn't know if my Mother in law would want to see him before he was buried. Brandon's nurse came out and talked to me about Brandon and what his last day was like. I had been there on and off everyday, but with the dog and farm I couldn't stay there all day or night. After the nurse left I was staring across the room at the seat that was against the wall and there was Brandon sitting with all our former dogs(all buried in our yard ) sitting around his chair. He got up and the rainbow bridge appeared behind him and he and the dogs went across the Rainbow bridge together. It was a godsend...knowing that his spirit was going with his beloved dogs. To explain this more was to make you understand how much the dogs meant to Brandon, he had said when he died, he wanted to be buried with his dogs. That would mean burying him in the yard on the other side of the driveway and I had told him NO...on that Idea. We had talked about this as both his mother and father had heart issues and both had had open heart surgery and he knew what their wishes were,but talked about what he wanted. He said he didn't want to have a formal funeral, as he didn't want anyone to talk about him(a eulogy). So I said, well, I want to be cremated and people can take little bags of me home with them if they want. Just leave enough of me to be buried next to you or leave room for you in our local cemetery. So , seeing him and the dogs go over the rainbow bridge together gave me peace of mind, even though now it still makes me cry. I did a sketch of what I saw the day he died but didn't do the watercolor painting till 2 years after his death and it sits over my desk. I remember him everyday and feel very lucky I was married to him as long as I was, I am very thankful for his love!  Tomatoes everywhere! I am thankful for the AGA roasting and baking ovens, I can have 4 trays of tomatoes roasting at a time! This time of year can be a bit overwhelming! I went through my records to figure out what products sold last year and what products didn't do well. I have a list reminding me of how much produce and fruit I still need to fulfill this year's canning quota.
My garden has not produced as many tomatoes as I need for passata so I have had to find another source for Juliet tomatoes. Although I do have enough herbs and sources for shallots and garlic, so I don't grow those. My poor cucumbers and squash were attacked early on by squash bugs and cucumber beetles and I didn't get more than 3 zucchini and 5 tiny curled pickling cukes. Next year I need to apply Spinosad and BT earlier on the squashes , plus picking off squash bugs and removing eggs from the squash leaves. It is quite a bit of work....but I love having fresh zucchini to eat and make Zucchini relish, Zucchini Bread and Butter pickles and occasionally Lemon Ginger Zucchini Marmalade! |
Mary Will Sussman Archives
January 2026
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